Switch Off Your Should-O-Meter (1 Min Read) | Vol. 186

January 16, 2026

“‘Should,’ is a shame-based statement that creates stress and anxiety in your body and mind.” – Suzanna Newsonen

Switch Off Your Should-O-Meter

Earlier this month, I went for a walk with my friend Juanpablo. He’s in a career transition and shared how easy it is to slip into “should” self-talk. I should have started my next thing by now. It’s a trap. “Shoulds” are almost always about the expectations of others. They reflect impossible standards that would require us to hop in a time machine and make different choices to meet.

Common “shoulds” I hear in coaching:I should be better at this by now. My business should be more profitable. I should eat healthier, work out more and go to bed on time. I should have done less. I should have done more. I should be a better leader, parent, or spouse. 

It’s like there’s a universal clock superimposed on our reality—a malicious heads-up display. Call it the Should-O-Meter. Everyone else seems to be living and achieving on time, while we’re perpetually behind. The anxiety is real. So is the shame.

It’s time to switch off your Should-O-Meter. Don’t be bullied. Life is tough enough without trying to meet the perfectionistic expectations of others or some idealized existence. You’re not behind. Besides, effective motivation comes from inside, not outside. 

Replace your “shoulds” with I could, I can, or best of all, I will. There is nothing you were meant to do or be that’s beyond your abilities. Your life is yours alone. Switch it off. Set yourself free.

One question to ponder in your thinking time: What expectation am I chasing that isn’t even mine?

Make an Impact!
Jay Papasan
Co-author of The ONE Thing, The Millionaire Real Estate Agent & author of The Rookie Real Estate Agent