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Jay Papasan - The Twenty PercenterJun 19, 2025 · Jay Papasan

The Leadership Mistake I Made (and You Probably Do Too)  (3 Min Read) | Vol. 156

June 20, 2025

“We work on ourselves in order to help others, but also we help others in order to work on ourselves”― Pema Chödrön

The Leadership Mistake I Made (and You Probably Do Too) 

In 2017, I delivered a workshop on The ONE Thing for the leadership team at Delta Galil, a global leader in innovative apparel design and manufacturing. During the Q&A, several executives requested additional coaching on work-life balance. They had big jobs managing divisions and brands during the day. At night, they desperately sought to be present for their spouses and kids. They described putting the kids to bed before triaging email. Some had negotiated phones at dinner time to be responsive to their bosses. 

Our advice from The ONE Thing – “When you’re supposed to be working, work, and when you’re supposed to be playing, play” – seemed as helpful as a poke in the eye. 

I coached them on setting expectations. We teach people when we’re available by being constantly available—like a 24/7 convenience store, but with more stress and less Slurpees. If we don’t reply to emails after 6 pm but reply promptly before 9 am, they learn to expect that. 

I coached them on batching. Work will expand to fill the time we give. So do tasks. Block 30 minutes in the morning, midday, and at the end of the day to send and reply to emails. Make it a game and limit the time we devote to our inboxes.

Nothing seemed to land. They looked at me like I’d suggested they solve world hunger with a strongly worded memo. We were about to end an excellent class on a decidedly sour note.

Then, my host spoke up. He asked if they were talking about his evening emails. He liked to review his workday in the evening and plan for the following day.  He sent follow-up questions about meetings and reports. Additional instructions would go out for tomorrow’s work. 

“I never expected you to reply,” he shared, emotion in his voice. “I was just getting it out of my head.” He hadn’t imagined that just receiving an email from someone with his title would make it urgent. 

This led to a mini-breakthrough with his team. They now had permission to delay their replies. He let them know how he’d reach out in a real emergency. A dozen knotted shoulders all relaxed at once. Cue the collective exhale.

In 2017, leaders didn’t have many options if they wanted to honor their team’s work-life balance. They could save their thoughts for the morning or give their team permission to unplug. The challenge is that many leaders struggle to delay action (we’re doers!), and your best people struggle to unplug (they’re doers too!)

Today, we have options. 

Every email platform now lets you schedule your emails. With Gmail and Outlook, it’s just a few clicks.  You can also schedule messages in Slack. Apple even offers a “Send Later” feature for text messages. Android does, too. 

Better leaders can adopt better habits. A few years ago, I realized I was making the same mistake as the Delta-Galil leader. I tend to work most weekends for an hour or two here and there. I would often pepper my team with messages. In an effort to keep my head above water, I was drowning my team in after-hours work. Now, I try to be better. I schedule messages to arrive at 8 am on the next workday. It’s a small adjustment for me that can make a big difference for my team. 

One question to ponder in your thinking time: Am I training people to be available 24/7, or am I modeling healthy boundaries?

Make an Impact!
Jay Papasan
Co-author of The ONE Thing & The Millionaire Real Estate Agent

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