Moving from “No” to “Yes”

This month, we’re celebrating the 10-year anniversary of The ONE Thing. Join your fellow Twenty Percenters on April 11 at 4pm CT for a free webinar highlighting lessons learned over the past decade. You won’t want to miss it! Register here.

“A closed mouth don’t get fed.”

 – Kevin Carroll (quoting his grandmother)

When something you want is within your control, you must act. When something you want is controlled by someone else, you must ask. Sometimes, the difference between a “no” and a “yes” is what you’re willing and able to do. To find out which, you have to be willing to ask. 

Ninety percent of sales success comes down to your ability to ask for the business. The same goes for negotiating. You rarely get what you don’t ask for.

I used to equate asking for things with a form of entitlement. Lots of people ask for things they haven’t earned and it bugged me. Deeply. That was my hang-up. This limiting belief led to a lot of missed opportunities. Somewhere along the line, I found the courage to start asking for what I wanted. Let me tell you that life is a lot better when you stop waiting for things to fall in your lap. 

When you ask, you get a lot of “nos” and a few “yeses.” Both fall on a continuum from “absolutely not” to “let’s go!” Everything in-between is a “maybe.”

The best trick I’ve learned for testing the “maybes” is bringing action back into the asking. Is there a condition you can meet that will turn the “no” into a “yes?”

Here’s what that can look like:

• What would I have to do to earn the right to ______?
• What would have to happen for my client to get ______? 
• If we were to _____, would that change your mind? 

Many people’s default answer is “no.” But much of the time they simply lack clarity. They know an element is missing but, until you ask, they can’t name it. 

So, give yourself a chance and ask. And if the answer is “no,” ask again if there is anything you can do to arrive at “yes.”

One question to ponder in your thinking time: What am I not asking for that I really want?

Make an Impact!
Jay Papasan

Co-author of The One Thing & The Millionaire Real Estate Agent ​