No-vember – Stop Moving the Goalposts (3 Min Read) 

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November 15, 2024

“Only once you give yourself permission to stop trying to do it all, to stop saying yes to everyone, can you make your highest contribution towards the things that really matter.” – Greg McKeown

 No-vember – Stop Moving the Goalposts

In 1971, Philip Brickman and Donald T. Campbell theorized that after positive or negative life events, we all return to a baseline level of happiness. In subsequent research, they compared the relative happiness of lottery winners and people who became paralyzed after accidents. As expected, lottery winners reported happiness levels sky-rocketed after winning. Likewise, happiness plummeted for the accident victims. Here’s the shocker. After 6 to 24 months,  the happiness levels for both groups were essentially the same. Everyone adapted. 

Psychologists call this phenomenon “hedonic adaptation.” Simply put, people have a way of getting used to changes, no matter how good or bad. Extraordinary can become ordinary remarkably fast. 

One of the reasons serial achievers are perpetually moving the goalposts is because they are chasing happiness. They think, I’ll be happy when….I make $100,000, I buy that new car, or I get a promotion. But when they hit $100,000, before long, $150,000 seems a lot more attractive. Their new ride has lost that “new car smell” and they start eyeing a new model. One of their peers leapfrogged them to a better title, and they feel like they’re losing. So they move the goalposts to whatever it is they next imagine represents contentment. 

Psychologists have a name for this, too. It’s called the “hedonic treadmill” and it’s a great recipe for perpetual dissatisfaction! It’s time to say “no” to moving the goalposts. 

When you don’t know what you want, you’ll always be looking for fulfillment. You have to figure out what success means for you. And that will ultimately come from your values and a clear vision for your future. Most people can lay a great foundation for understanding both with just a few hours of work. Through discovery and design, they can identify their core values and chart their personal path to success. This clarity serves as an invaluable compass for knowing what actually matters. Where are you going? Why is that important to you? What’s the next milestone on your journey? When you know what you’ve said YES to, it’s easy to say NO to the rest.

Authors Dan Sullivan and Dr. Benjamin Hardy illustrate this in their book, The Gap and The Gain. They share how former quarterback Tom Brady was perpetually underpaid compared to his peers. He took a salary cut in 2007 so the Patriots could sign wide receiver Randy Moss. He later took cuts and deferred salary after noticing that winning teams had better depth on the offensive line. He infuriated agents and his fellow QBs with these moves. They argued Brady was lowering the financial ceiling for the position. But his values weren’t around being the “highest paid.” He wanted to win Super Bowls. And with 7 rings to Brady’s name today, no one else comes close. 

One question to ponder in your thinking time: What do I really want?

Make an Impact!
Jay Papasan
Co-author of The ONE Thing & The Millionaire Real Estate Agent